Emergency Greek

I was determined to learn Greek. It was not as easy as I expected but my husband and I wanted to know what our Greek neighbours were really saying.  Gradually my Greek vocabulary increased and even though I had not progressed to complete sentences I could manage a few phrases.

From our house we daily admired a lovely group of tall pine trees. So you can imagine our desperation when the electricity company decided that some of these trees had to be removed. New cables had to be erected and since these would penetrate through the pines there was the possibility of the trees becoming a fire hazard. I saw the trucks from our upstairs terrace. I saw the men with the chain saws and very soon I heard their destructive sound.

I was distraught and automatically went into combative mode – as an upset pseudo Cretan woman had a right to do. I recalled the Greek I’d learned and shouted ‘Crete is beautiful, now Crete is not beautiful, you are a bad man, don’t work in the garden bad man, Matt is my husband and we have a dog, I would like some red wine, close the gate bad man, please, thank you, the beach is beautiful, I like fish, go out bad man and wait for the bus at the bus stop.’

 Eventually, having shouted non -stop for about ten minutes I ran out of steam. The bad man and his mates were hiding behind cable drums, a van and a truck. The dangerous saws had stopped working. I readied my final salve but instead of shouting, ‘I’m going to the police’ I screamed, ‘and now I’m going to the Post Office!’ The workers came out of hiding and the sawing resumed. Today we serenade a lonesome pine.