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Sunday, 21 December 2014

Christmas Miscellany

When I was a child I lived on a farm in the heart of Ireland. There wasn't much air traffic then and whenever an airplane flew overhead in early December my mother called us children to the front steps. Standing on tip toe we'd shout our greetings as loudly as possible to Santa. We believed that the pilot of the plane was sent by Santa b to make sure we were still living at the farm.Our excitement was so immense and overwhelming that we kept shouting long after the plane with it's vital information disappeared among the clouds.

Santa brought my younger brother Andy a carpentry set when he was about three. Daddy carried him into the kitchen so that he could show it to Bob our older brother. He was busy trying to put a wooden puzzle together on the table and refused to look up. Suddenly he felt a sharp knock on the top of his head, he shouted before dramatically pretending to fall to the floor. On his descent he hit his head off the edge of the dresser and was knocked out!

My older brother and I began to wonder if Santa was real. Some of our school friends had been talking and not all of them believed in him anymore. It was very worrying. Bob decided that we should set a trap. Our presents from Santa were always left at the bottom of each bed. If Santa was real we'd soon find out.
There was a roll of strong twine in the shed and we took the kitchen scissors and went out there to cut a long piece of it.
'What are you two doing.?'
Daddy was standing there in the doorway. I had the piece of twine wrapped around my hand the way adults do it and Tom was holding the scissors.
'Well?' Daddy asked 'What are you doing?'
'We're going to set a trap for Santa,' I told him. 'It's all Bob's idea.'
'No, it's not, it's you too,' my brother protested.
'Tell me about the trap and maybe I can help you,' said Daddy.
'We're going to tie this piece of twine onto the inside knob of my bedroom door Bob explained. We'll tie the other end to the back of the chair inside the door. When Santa comes he won't see the twine and when he opens the bedroom door the chair will move with the door -- and I'll hear it.
'And if Santa is there what will you say to him?' Daddy asked.
We hadn't thought about this.
'Well if I was Santa I'd be very disappointed to be found out,' Daddy said 'and I'd take all the presents to some poor child who doesn't have a lovely Christmas like you do. But if you are dead keen to set a trap I'll help you, what do you think?'
'It's alright Bob,' spoke ruefully.' I don't want to see Santa after all.'
'I don't either,' I said as I began to cry.
'That's good Daddy,' said 'and I know that Santa will bring you lovely presents if you really believe in him.'


That Christmas Santa brought me a doll's pram because I believed in him. Months later when the March winds blew and the smoke curled over the roof of the house I dressed my gorgeous cat Minnie the Moucher in a pink baby's dress. She was delighted and purred loudly when I put her in the pram and covered her with a soft blanket. I placed the pram near to the little stool which I sat on beside the fire. Children's Hour was on the radio and a lady was telling a story about a potato called Sammy Spudd. Our elderly neighbour, Paddy Hogan, who came to visit us during the winter evenings arrived just as the story finished.
'Have you got a baby in that little pram?' He asked
'Oh yes,' I told him 'and the baby's asleep. She's teething and it was hard enough to get her down.'
 'A difficult baby,' Mammy laughed as she handed Paddy a cup of tea and some apple tart.
Daddy, with the cold of the evening clinging to him soon joined us beside the fire. He had tea and apple tart too.
Paddy always had great stories to tell.That particular night he had a tale about a a haunted house. 'Every night in April', he said mysteriously,' near to the time of the full moon, a knock came to the door of that old house. The owners had been warned not to open the door under any circumstances. But there's always a stubborn man to be found you know. And one Christmas Eve a loud the knock was heard -- like this' -- said Paddy as he banged and banged his walking stick on the flagstone floor. There was commotion within the pram and a creature with four legs, a furry face and dressed in pink leaped over Paddy's chair
'Well holy God,' Paddy gasped, 'It's alive!'

A Christmas liturgy is special wherever it occurs. Long ago in our small country church a parishioner came to worship well fortified in mind and body against the cold. The choir had been practicing carols for weeks and when organ music filled the air and 'Hark the Herald Angels Sing' echoed around everyone listened in admiration. But the fortified Angel got carried away and kept singing 'Gloria in Excellencies Deo' when the choir had long since fallen silent.The embarrassed celebrant clapped his hands and said kindly, 'thank you, thank you very much.'
'Father O'Brien -- that's my Aunty, ' a child called out loudly. 'Let her sing us another song before you start talking.'

Names have been changed to save embarrassment!

Happy Christmas Everyone and all good things in the New Year.



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